November 6, 2010: Deja vu all over again

It was just about a year ago that I left for my little Parisian adventure, immersing myself all too briefly in the musical and cultural life of that city. Now I find myself in the aforementioned Kansas City, but living the life of a French nun. A bit complique, non?

I'm in the midst of rehearsals for Francis Poulenc's masterpiece of opera Dialogues des Carmelites. Set in Revolutionary-era France, this opera is full of action of both mind and body. The Carmelite nuns of the title end up being among the last to be guillotined at the end of the Revolution, and have since been revered by Catholics as martyrs and saints. I play the only nun who isn't arrested and killed- making my psychological journey a little bit difficult. How to play someone hell-bent (well, really heaven-bent) on becoming a martyr, who then escapes that fate? The understanding is that my character is punished for her zeal by living- her penance for misunderstanding God's will is her own life, while her compatriots "get" to die. Not your typical opera plot!

As I think back on meandering through the streets of Paris last year, it's hard to envision what that time must have looked like: hordes running through the streets, beheaded bodies, the songs of the Revolution shouted through the air. Mobs and riots are certainly commonplace in our world today, but any tourist in the cobblestoned passages of Paris would be shocked to turn the corner to find one. This vision of impassioned Frenchies also goes against the grain of our modern stereotype of the cowardly, too-cool Frog. You can't really drag an aristocrat to their death while dragging on a cigarette and reading Sartre...

The cloistered Carmelite nuns were apart from this world to an extent, and it makes a powerful dramatic impact when they suddenly hear a horde/chorus of people outside their door yelling to open up. I am working on embodying a religious fanatic - someone who believes so truly in their vision of what their fate/role in the world is. She sees every disaster as one more sign that martyrdom is approaching. Yet she is sympathetic, as she later realizes her error and repents. Quite the journey for a 2.5 hour opera.

The music is sometimes stark, sometimes sentimental, sometimes highly emotional, but always purely Poulenc. It is a pleasure to sing and revel in the French language- makes me wish I were back there now.

August 23, 2010: a Midwest Adventure begins!

I arrived 2 days ago in hot and humid Kansas City, MO. Today was the first day of a new program: working on my Artist Certificate at the university here. I was drawn to the wonderful faculty members and the wealth of performing opportunities. I've hardly had a chance to see the city, but I'm sure I'll do more walking around....I'm told that the weather will be less painfully sticky in about a month...I'll have to learn to love air conditioning in the meantime!

I'll have more updates on performances, and life lessons soon, and of course the travel will continue!

August 2, 2010: back in Colorado, colorfully?

It's been quite awhile since I've written, and it's hard to believe the summer is nearing its close! I've been very busy in Denver, settling in to a new house and taking lessons. I then ventured off to Fairbanks, Alaska for the Fairbanks Summer Arts Festival. It was an exciting year for the festival's opera program- it was the first time they'd attempted not only an opera scenes performance, but an additional performance with orchestra. I got to sing Cherubino in Mozart's The Marriage of Figaro, and my cohorts and I received a wonderful ovation from the audience. We sang the ensembles in English and arias in Italian, a blend of understandability and artistry. Mozart's music is so clever and glorious, and it was a joy to make people laugh and smile.

The festival's faculty were fantastic mentors and the two weeks in Fairbanks were packed with rehearsals, lessons, master classes, and extra performance opportunities. I've never attended such a busy festival, and had only a few spare hours to explore the wilderness surrounding me. The Alaskan lifestyle is slower (except for the 2 weeks of the festival!) and friendly, and I'd love to go back for a visit without all of my music scores in tow. I did get a small window off, and drove partially up the Dalton Highway into the Arctic Circle. The silence was profound and magical, and the vistas of mountains continued as far as we could see. In the car, of course, my colleagues and I were practicing our opera scenes music and arrange 4-part harmonies of other songs!

I was able to work and visit with an old teacher, meet wonderful new colleagues, give a first performance of a new aria, revisit some familiar roles (Cherubino as well as Dorabella in Cosi fan tutte and Orlofsky in Die Fledermaus), and once again immerse my self in the world of opera. There's really nothing quite like it- a complete art form that involves a bank of knowledge about music, language, technique, stage presence, costumes, makeup, using props, set pieces, etc, etc. Needless to say, by the end of the festival, I was mentally and physically exhausted, but gleeful with the experience of performing.

March 30, 2010: Springtime update

So, the last few weeks have been full of preparing for a show and a competition...

I don't think this can be said for every job- but I know that every audition, competition, lesson, coaching, etc., is a learning experience. I sang in one competition and observed another, had two auditions and rehearsals for my production, and every one of them offered a chance to sing, listen, and learn from how things went. To be sure, not every note I sing on a daily basis is gorgeous, and when you throw in the nerves of competition or auditioning, interesting things can happen. My goal continues to be to have every performance be one I can be proud of- whether or not I win or get a role, to be able to walk away knowing I sang the best I could on that day.

I just got back from a trip to Washington, DC for some rehearsals. There are few things as nerve-wracking as having to prepare for rehearsals and not being sure if you've done enough on your own to get ready to be a fully participating member of a show. In this case, I showed up with the knowledge that the most of the other singers had already been rehearsing for two weeks. This time around, I focused my energies on just preparing myself as fully as possible- and what do you know, I was fine. I'd sung in the space before, and know several other cast members. It's nice to walk away with a greater understanding of your own skills and more confidence in them.

And to get to enjoy some spring sunshine and cherry blossoms...

February 8, 2010: Audition=Fun?!?!

As I mentioned before, I had this idea to write about the irony of the word "play" when it comes to classical musicians, who tend to think very seriously about their music and treat it as though it is sacred.

But I've been caught up in preparations for an audition and an upcoming competition...and taking my own music rather seriously. In late December, I saw a live jazz performance was struck by how much fun all of the musicians and the singer were having. They were undoubtedly all very talented and well-trained, but when it came to performing, they didn't let their own seriousness about their music inhibit their thrill in just "playing" it.

Of course singers sometimes have a hard time identifying with this idea of "play." We don't usually think of playing our voices, or at least I don't. The voice is the manifestation of so many anatomical parts...it's not easy to separate it, to see it as an instrument apart from ourselves.

And singers face the very difficult task of attempting to hear ourselves (yes, I'm speaking for everybody here). The way we hear our own voice never matches the actual sound that reaches the listener's ear. And often, at least for myself, the more we try to hear and analyze the sound we are producing, the more we interfere with our body's natural ability to produce it. Oh, gosh, it's a vicious cycle! And for me, wanting to be so good at singing, and taking the music so seriously, sometimes has that effect too.

At my audition this past weekend, I made it a goal to be in the moment as much as possible, to focus on singing the words and using them to express a character, and to just let myself go. But habits are hard to break...in the middle of one aria, I suddenly noticed that I was listening to myself. This invariably means that I'm holding back a fraction of a percent, even if it's just one note, for one second. I was very pleased that I noticed it in the middle of singing, rather than wondering afterward why the audition wasn't quite as great as I thought it could be. I did actually have fun singing my arias, and felt much more commitment to the characters that I have in past auditions. So this will be a goal for the rest of the year, and certainly for the competition in a few weeks: to, yes, play my voice and focus on the fun moments ahead rather than letting my mind dwell for a fraction of a second on the current or just past note.

I'll be seeing Bela Fleck live tonight, and I have no doubt that I'll be inspired again to not let my desire to be an excellent singer interfere with delivering the most fun and uninhibited performance I can.

January 25, 2010: East Coast Whirlwind

This past week was spent travelling up and down the eastern seaboard: Baltimore, Virginia, New York City, then Baltimore again. I was understudying my current favorite role, Dorabella, in Cosi fan tutte for Chesapeake Concert Opera, taking a brush-up lesson with my teacher, and of course visiting friends and seeing some of my favorite sites. Any and all who have an interest in Jane Austen, the art of letter writing, or early-nineteen century social mores should see the current exhibit at the Morgan Library. Yes, this is what you do when we you are a nerd in New York City.

It was exhausting but fun to couch hop my way through the week...but I'm glad to be back in Denver so I can focus on memorizing and polishing all of my repertoire for my upcoming graduate school audition and a competition shortly thereafter. Did she say graduate school? Didn't she already go to graduate school? Well, yes, yes she did. But when there's a chance of going back for more with a stipend attached, I'll audition. And yes, the possibility of having another two years of structured vocal education doesn't sound so terribly bad.

Meanwhile the piles of 1099s are coming in, and I'm gearing up to give Turbo Tax and its independent contractor/Schedule C forms a work out. This is what happens when you're in that murky period after school is over...lots and lots of random singing and non-singing jobs.

I have in mind another blog post concerning how seriously classical singers take themselves (this after seeing a jazz singing give a wonderfully entertaining performance a few weeks ago), but it'll have to wait until I'm taking my own singing a little less seriously...like maybe in a few days?

In the meantime, to tide you over: for all those who think Mozart is boring, or unsexy, check out this video of one of the seduction duets from Cosi fan tutte....I think it easily compares with Olivia Newton John in her sewn-on pants getting John Travolta all riled up. Well, let's be honest, nobody compares with his derriere-shaking dance.