December 29, 2009: As the days dwindle down

I was fairly shocked to hear and watch the post-Christmas spate of media reviews of the decade- I hadn't really been thinking of this year as the last in a group or as somehow the fitting conclusion of a period in life! It is a well-known fact in my family that New Years Eve is my least favorite holiday of the year, so I generally ignore its existence if possible. Watching a glittering ball drop, kissing somebody, anybody, and drinking too much champagne- are these really the best symbolic gestures we can come up with to signal the change in the calendar year and somehow give our lives some definition? Don't get me wrong, I love champagne (or cava, or prosecco, or sparkling whatever), but I think the holiday would really be much better if it had some of the winter solstice-like, druid-y, and nature-based ceremony to it. On occasion my family has chosen to spend New Years in the mountains cross-country skiing, and so far I think this is the best way to celebrate that can be found. Looking at the stars without light pollution, breathing in lung-fulls of cold mountain air, and falling repeatedly while attempting to ski down a 7% grade hill...these are things that make you want to start anew and refocus your life.

We did in fact go skiing a few days ago, and the scenery offered me a chance to compare/contrast my life here with the visit to Paris. I took a lot of pictures of buildings while there. And you'd think there would be limit on the number of times you can see the Eiffel Tower and want to capture it, but I don't think there is. Meanwhile, here in Colorado, there is no shortage of wonder to feel at the miracle of fresh snow on the ground and a clear, electric blue sky.

But it is cold outside, and after the pause of a few days to really enjoy spending time with my family and celebrate Christmas holidays, I'm back to the stress/good motivation of having to learn and memorize a bunch of music. I'm finally feeling 98% better after a round of antibiotics and nasal spray, so I can sing and practice and drill lines. Any singer can empathize with the weird paradox of having deadlines- when you don't have any audition or concert coming up, you feel more relaxed about practicing but also less motivated. So I haven't really taken time to ponder and philosophize about all the feedback I received in Paris/Germany because there's music to be learned! The wonderful thing about the human mind is that it can multi-task and I'm trying to incorporate some new ideas as I polish the new music. The first few months of next year are full of singing, so I know I'll need to carry this energy with me.

And when I get tired of staring at all of the little black dots and lines, I get to look up at a blue sky.